BTW, You Deserve a Work/Life Balance | Virtual Assistant

It was July 2021 when I looked up and said, I can’t do this anymore.

My work/life balance was in the trash. I only knew one speed: fast.

But there I was…feeling like I’d been run through a salad spinner and completely drained of any life. I was DONE. Burnt out. Crispy. A shell of who I used to be. I’ll never forget going on vacation that Summer, and sitting on the beach feeling numb and exhausted. It was all too much.

About 18 months prior I had my first child righhhht at the start of the pandemic. (We were those people who introduced our first kid to family members through closed windows and across distant driveways). And then I raced back to my pre-parent pace of life. And I was toast. I always talked about work/life balance, but I don’t think I understood what that would mean FOR ME. Busyness had always been my default.

Before running my own business, I had been a club swim coach with USA swimming. I spent long, long evenings on deck. Weekends at swim meets. Often working 7 day weeks on repeat. I missed family functions. I missed happy hours with friends. I worked and worked and worked. And that hustle translated seamlessly into my business.

But in Summer of 2021, I looked up and said: I can’t do this anymore.

I think it was a mixture of the pandemic and having a child that pushed me to finally STOP and make significant changes in my priorities.

I dove headfirst into finding a way to bring balance back into my life. I found childcare (which took MONTHS in the pandemic let me tell you). I decided I wanted to lean into my FAV part of business: the admin. And I started VA work in November of 2021. It felt so freaking seamless and I was completely booked solid the first month in business. I started outsourcing, which had scared me in the past but I knew I had to make a change. I outsourced as much as I possibly could, which started at only a few hundred dollars of investment a month and has since grown to thousands.

It allowed me to make $$, doing what I actually LOVED, while still enjoying my life.

Slowly, over time, my mojo came back to me. I started setting firm boundaries with my time & my clients. I found most of my clients even thrived off knowing exactly when I would/would not be working.

Work/Life balance is so different for everyone, but I can tell you that we all deserve it.

For you, the thing you want to dive into is photography, yeah? Shooting with your clients. Connecting with people. Capturing stories. I highly encourage you to consider outsourcing the other stuff. Because you deserve to have a work/life balance that makes you feel fulfilled, calm, happy and motivated.

Traveling With a Baby | Virtual Assistant for Photographers

Last week, my partner and I flew to New York for a wedding. And we got to spend a day wandering around NYC. I had somehow never been (like HOW!?) - and it was so fun to explore. Traveling with a baby is new to us, because we had our first kiddo right during the pandemic - so we are in a learning currrveee.

There are a few things that we wish we would have done differently on this trip, and I thought I’d share so hopefully you can avoid our mistakes.

Traveling with a baby; things we’d do differently:

• We would CHECK OUR BAGS. Before we had kids, we traveled almost exclusively with carry-on bags. You could find us galavanting around Europe for 2 weeks living out of backpacks. We are light packers. But with kids? It was just a lot to lug around the airport, and not have our hands very free. And if you have a baby, you KNOW that you want your hands free 😅

• We would BRING A STROLLER. We didn’t bring our stroller because there was one waiting for us at our destination, but man we missed it in the airport. I would probably never again fly without a stroller to get to/from your gate. Plus it would have been nice to have a place for him to rest out of our arms. We did bring a blanket for the floor (forever unclean) and let him stretch his legs.

• We would BRING SNACKS FOR US. We brought everything we needed for the baby, but we often didn’t have time to grab a snack or water for ourselves while rushing around. Next time I will pack an empty water bottle for me to fill in the airport and extra snacks. Traveling with a Baby IS harder work than traveling solo, so refueling yourself becomes extra important.

A few things we were glad we did?

• Brought a neck pillow; we could use it as a makeshift boppy in the plane for naps and feeds.

• Brought a Paci clip; our little one doesn’t use the Paci much at home but he loved it in the plane. It helped his ears adjust.

• Got diapers and wipes THERE. Our friend ran to the store and picked us up diapers before we arrived so we didn’t have to pack too many; they take up SO much room.

• Brought a portable sound machine; these are LIFESAVERS while traveling with a baby.

• Brought a portable black out curtain; so helpful for naps in strange environments for baby.

There were definitely a lot of little hiccups and frustrations along the way but over all we loved traveling with a baby, and can’t wait to bring our toddler along on the next trip. We think it’s super silly to say you can’t travel once you have kids. It’s a different pace and your expectations have to change - but your lives don’t stop when you have kids. Plus look how happy H was to see the world!!! ^ haha

If you want to see more from our trip, come see me on TikTok!

Your Desire Is Your Superpower | Virtual Assistant for Photographers

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret that I never really posted about before.

I didn't really enjoy being a photographer very much. 🤭

Feels really vulnerable to write it out that bluntly, because I wrestled with myself over it for years. But that's the truth of the matter. I did some sort of photography, either full time or part time, for 10 years. And there were definitely like parts about it that I really did love, don't get me wrong. But I kept trying to make it a successful career. And it kept feeling so forced.

And I never really understood why… until I was forced to stop.

Back in 2019 I was I unexpectedly lost my coaching job. And I decided to go full time into my photography as a result. I was eight weeks pregnant & everything was scary. But I'm a risk taker, and I had a gut feeling that it was time to run my own business! This was something I had dreamed of doing since I was a teenager. So I did.

I went all in. And while I booked the shoots that I needed to book, and made the incoming I needed to make…. everything felt forced and I couldn’t figure out why.

It felt like I had my hands over my ears, tuning my own voice out, because photography is a thing that made me feel safe. It was an industry that I knew. And so I charged forward.

Fast forward to 2021… I had a baby at the height of the pandemic, had serious health issues as a result of that pregnancy, and was now trying to run a photography business while taking care of a toddler with no help (because thanks, COVID).

And I got burned the fuck out.

More burnt out that I've ever experienced in my life. I was to the point where, like, I couldn't even work. So everything that I had been building towards for the last two years came to a screeching halt. And I was forced to ask myself what do I actually want? And I finally started listening to myself…to my desires. I had to look myself in the mirror, take a deep breath, and be honest about the fact that I didn't want to be a photographer.

I wanted to run my own business. But I didn't want to be a photographer.

I started asking myself what were aspects of the business that I really truly loved. And all of it had to do with admin and marketing system. Hell… I came home from a photography workshop once, and all I thought about was systems! How to make things efficient, how to use automations, how to use my time well. IF THAT WASN’T A SIGN I WAS MEANT TO BE A VIRTUAL ASSISTANT 😅

So I started to put together a virtual assistant business SERVING photographers (instead of BEING a photographer), everything started clicking. It was nothing like I ever experienced as a photography business owner. Everything was full of ease. I had content ideas for days. I knew exactly what I wanted things to look like.

And that's the point of all this:I wish I would have saved myself a lot of time by leaning into my desire. I wish I would have known your desire IS your superpower.

As business owners it's so crucial to not just the $$$ success of our business, but the long the sustainability of our of our business, to ENJOY our freaking lives.

We deserve to have a business that brings joy. Obviously every business is also going to bring stress, but our business just should overall make our lives better. Otherwise, there's literally no point.

I wish I would have saved myself so much time and struggle by just being honest with myself about what I really desired. And for you… it probably isn't a leap from photography. I see that enjoyment from so many of my clients that was missing for me. But it might be time to evaluate your niche, or your ideal client, or your price point, or your work/life balance…or whatever it is.

You will do yourself a huge favor by starting first with what you desire, instead of what you should do. Your desire is your superpower. Let your business come from your heart. Lead with desire.

(A good book that talks about this concept is The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte)

Things I Did Differently for My Second Baby | Virtual Assistant

As I’m sitting here at my desk writing this, I have 3 days left in my maternity leave. I have a coffee in hand (because sleep deprivation), and I just ordered noise cancelling headphones off Amazon (because WFH life is noisy). As I prepare to come back from mat leave, I thought I’d share some things I did differently for my second baby.

1. In my pregnancy, I didn’t try to muscle through the symptoms. I took the Zofran, I rested, I wore the comfy clothes. (These $15 sweats from Amazon are amazing). Pregnant people are already going through massive discomfort on an extended basis, so they deserve all the comfort they can get. My maternity pillow was my best friend for all 9 months, and the only time I felt true relief.

2. I let it be DIFFERENT. Our brains naturally compare experiences, so I found myself thinking “well, with my first baby XYZ happened…” And then I was expecting those things, both good and bad. I finally realized: THIS IS TOTALLLLLY DIFFERENT. The pregnancy, the birth, the baby…the whole enchilada. I had to realize this multiple times throughout the process, but it really helped me to let this be it’s OWN experience. (And man, was it different!)

3. I went straight to bottle feeding, and didn’t even try breastfeeding. This one was HARD for me to decide. I spent months going back and forth on what I wanted to do. But it became clear over the course of my high-risk pregnancy, that I would need to immediately focus on my OWN recovery after birth. Which meant that breastfeeding was outside of my capacity. I found a website that ships European formula (because that was important to me), and I embraced exclusively bottle feeding because that’s what was right for our family. YES, I felt torn about it. YES, I felt like I’d be judged. But ultimately I knew I was giving my baby the gift of a happy, whole, healing mother. So if you are going to bottle feed, please know it’s a valid option!

4. Something else I did differently for my second baby - I got a bedside bassinet! The first time I used a playpen near our bed, but I really wanted that close access this time. 10/10 recommend!!! I love having my baby so close to me, without the risks associated with co-sleeping. It makes me feel comfortable but connected. I got this one! (Pro tip: put it on your registry and then use the completion discount for some $$ off. Actually, do that will ALL your baby items)

5. We’ve been using an app to track his activity, and it’s the BEST thing ever. We use Huckleberry, and we literally use the free version (it’s more than enough if you aren’t using the sleep guidance features!) It allows us to co-parent seamlessly, and support each other in care tasks. You can document feedings, diapers, medication, temperatures…all the fun baby stuff. I LOVE having this in our toolkit this time.

6. I had a PT appointment scheduled, so it was already set up postpartum. It’s no secret that postpartum care in the United States is DISMAL at best. So I took it into my own hands and made sure to see a physical therapist who specializes in PP care within a month of giving birth.

7. The last thing I did differently for my second baby is changed my mindset. I know it’s cliche to say you’re more relaxed with your 2nd baby, but the truth is - you are forced to prioritize. And it quickly became really clear in this postpartum that I can either run around STRESSING about being the best mom…OR I can trust myself and focus on enjoying the experiences with my kiddos. My children are going to see their mom LOVING life & having fun. Even if it means there is some more screen time, or we go through a drive-thru for dinner. I no longer care. I want to enjoy this life experience, because we don’t get MORE time with our babies.

So those are some things I did differently for my second baby!

I’ll be back from mat leave in a few days, and I’m excited to hop back into my work. I will be opening new spots for both my packages SOON, and I’m looking forward to launching that.

Parenting & Running a Business | Virtual Assistant for Photographers

When I first thinking about becoming a parent, one of my first questions was - how does this fit with running a business? I have ALWAYS wanted to run my own business, since before I can remember.. And once I realized I was ready to become a mother, I took my time deciding how I could make it work.

While I didn’t know much about parenting & running a business, I knew enough to know there was a lot I didn’t know. It seemed like a big learning curve (it was) and not something I wanted to be flippant about.

When I was in the phase of figuring out how to make it work, I really appreciated other women talking about their experiences of becoming a parent while running a business. And now I’m more established as both a business owner & parent (expecting the second baby any day now) - I want to put some thoughts on the table too.

some things I wish I would have known about balancing parenting & running a business…

the learning curve

There is such a learning curve to becoming a parent. There are the normal everyday things, like changing diapers and how you want to handle sleep schedules. Sure. But on a larger scale, it was a learning curve to adapt my whole world to expand enough to fit another human being. I didn’t become a parent until I was almost 30, and I was independent AF before that point. My normals were well established.

While I didn’t lose my identity when I became a mom, I definitely had to make some logistical space.

I found that when I wasn’t being intentional and aware, either parenting or business management (or both) would sneak in and take over all other areas of my life. It took a hot second to even realize this was happening, and I often felt confused & a little overwhelmed as I got knee deep into the world of managing it all. My learning curve revolved mainly on learning how to manage the categories of my life together as a cohesive unit.

And speaking of, let’s talk about a hot parenting word:

Balance

Some people will say there is no such thing as balance when you’re parenting & running a business. And I get that sentiment, because it definitely doesn’t feel like it did before. But if I’m really honest…that idea really depresses the shit outta me. It makes me feel like I will constantly be in evaluating, deciding, and dropping the ball. I am not here for it.

I want to feel in charge of my life, intentional with my energy, and directive in my choices. That can co-exist within parenting & entreprenuership.

The idea of Balance looks very different when your world expands and changes. Before I had a kid, I could easily balance things out almost subconsciously; take an afternoon off, schedule a trip, go out with friends etc. If I had a tough day, I could get home and unwind with a glass of wine & my fav Netflix show in peace.
And now? That time has to be more intentionally set & boundaried. But it’s not impossible.

I like to think of my capacity as a circle. The circle is your time, resources, energy levels etc. In general, this stays about the same. And it’s something you experience whether you have children or not.
(We are NOT about the “oh just wait until you have kids” mentality here lol)

Inside the circle are “categories” of things that make up your life: running a business, relationships, self-care, hobbies, health etc.
When you add parenting to the circle, everything else has to shift around that. It’s a very demanding category, no way around it.

And personally, I have found that, unless I am practicing good boundaries within my own sphere, parenting and/or running a business can easily push everything else to the outskirts.

It’s my goal to be a boundaried parent & business owner, so I do not lose my sense of self within my capacity.

Identity

Speaking of sense of self.

We all know how easy it is to lose yourself when becoming a parent. Especially for moms. I went into the birth of our first kid, very aware of not losing myself. I was careful to set aside time for myself from day one and all through postpartum. I went to therapy, took showers, did not neglect my health and made sure I still existed in my world.

The one thing that I didn’t predict, was how easy it would be to prioritize the function of parenting over myself as a human. As things got busier (aka our baby turned into a toddler and my business took off) - I got really fucking burnt out.

While I didn’t “lose my identity”, I truly started prioritizing all the other things over the space that made me feel human. It took me a while to realize that even the little self-care I was practicing was typically just in service of having more capacity to serve my business & my family.

I had to take a big freaking step back and reassess how to hold space for myself, simply because I am a human who deserves to have space. And that meant intentional thought about my boundaries. It meant asking for help. It meant letting change happen.

In a nutshell…parenting and running a business is doable, but it takes intention & experience.

If I had to give any advice to someone wanting to run a business and become a parent - I would say this:

• get in therapy (it will be the best tool you give yourself)

• be strategic about your schedule & time management…if this doesn’t come naturally, learn the skill. It’s your best friend.

• evaluate your priorities and be okay with some things temporarily taking a back seat (for me this was my social life)

• STICK TO YOUR BOUNDARIES with your business. If you have office hours, don’t run around trying to squeeze them into other places. Be intentional, and then hold that space. YOU are in charge of that, no one else is going to do it for you.

• Be willing to reevaluate often; your child will grow, and the needs of each category in your capacity shifts. I like to do a monthly audit to check-in with myself. Helps me stay present & aware (both important tools while parenting and running a business).

• and remember: you CAN do have a successful, thriving business and be a parent. You will find what works for you.

• embrace the learning curve.

• and lastly (maybe most importantly!) ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SUPPORTED; outsource pieces of your business…get a grocery delivery subscription…use Amazon prime…hire a sitter…you have nothing to prove. Be okay with making things as easy as possible on yourself. Juggling all of these responsibilities IS hard work.

There is more I could say on this, but it’s such a personalized experience that what worked for me might not work for you. But I do want you to feel empowered to bring a child into your life, if it’s what you want. My business has only thrived more since I became a parent, and the skills parenting has given me only served my business. You can have both. And you can have balance.

You just have to be willing to go through the learning curve to get there. But every. single. new. job. requires a learning curve. So this is really no different. You’ve got this.