Jessie Shaw 7/1/20 Jessie Shaw 7/1/20

Introducing: NEW In-Home Studio

Welp, can’t believe this fell into my lap and that it’s actually happening, but I officially have an in-home studio. I opened my boudoir business almost a year ago, and I did several in-home shoots in my tiny apartment previously. We made it work, and had some killer photos in there, but it always felt a little cramped and unstyled to me. I wanted a space that I could really make my own. Not just stylistically to get the kind of photos I wanted (although, yes, that too), but also to create an inviting space for those women who are trusting me to shoot their boudoir images. I know it’s a huge deal to hire someone to take photos of you in lingerie. I get it. And I wanted a space that felt calm and creative and inspiring.

I’m very influenced by spaces. I am forever seeking out the restaurants, coffee shops, hotels, and stores with the best “vibe” and look. They inspire me more than almost anything else. And so when I got the opportunity to create my own I really took a step back & let myself get very inspired about how I wanted it to FEEL.

My goal as I designed the studio was to have a haven for the women I was photographing. A calm space to clear your head, and feel inspired. A space to let go and feel free to express who you are. I want you to feel at peace walking through the door, and sense the kind of laid-back, modern imagery we’re going to be capturing.

For me that translates to a lot of white walls and quiet, uncluttered spaces. I have always, always been drawn to negative space. A lot evolves in a photographer’s style over the years but that has been a staple for me from the beginning. Negative space.

It creates such profound space for the subject of a photo.

So I painted the walls white, and purposefully put together a very simple design. In fact, you can see my Pinterest inspo board here if you wanna check out the ‘behind the scenes’ of the process.

I decided to make a wall collage of other empowering babes, which creates a cool blurry grid in the background of some photos. That adds texture to an image. And I also included a styled nightstand for some details to draw the eye in wide-angle images.

So there you go! That is the process & background & “why” for the design.

I hope it makes you feel so calm,

& inspired,

& so YOU.

-J

PS: scroll to the bottom to see a shot from my most recent shoot in the studio!

Jessie Shaw 1/13/20 Jessie Shaw 1/13/20

An Interview With A Boss // Laura of Humble & Spark

I met Laura through Instagram! (How else do you meet these days?) She is a local jewelry designer in New York, and when she was visiting Austin we met up for some photos & coffee. I immediately clicked with her & her fiancé. They are the funniest, most wonderful people and I’m happy to call them friends.
I asked Laura if she’d do this interview for the blog because she’s a badass and I wanted to share her story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Read away!!

Name: Laura Dulgerian

Instagram Handle: @HumbleandSpark

What field are you in?: Jewelry design!

What drew you to your work? What's your story?: None of it would be possible without my father. He grew up in Turkey and started as an enameler with HIS father (actually we found his first business card the other day – its from 50 years ago! How Crazy?!) When he came to the US with my mom, he spent every penny on getting his own manufacturing business up and running. I remember stories of us growing up --how my mom couldn’t afford a cup of coffee, and we would eat lentils every night for dinner (possibly explains my hatred for lentils). Him & his business partner Alex worked day and night, traveled for trade shows & slowly but surely, my dad’s American dream was coming true.
In 1999, my Dad’s business partner died of cancer and he was left doing every aspect of the business himself. My mom left her job and started to help him doing paperwork, payroll, accounting, managing, etc. I started working with them in 2002?, (taking an educated guess with that one, I have the memory of a goldfish), in our NYC office. At this point & time we only had our manufacturing/wholesale side of the business…so basically we would sell OUR designs to OTHER jewelry stores. Eventually, we started to look for a retail store space on Long Island because we had an overabundance of inventory, and it seemed like a shame to have it just sit in the safe in-between trade-shows. We found our location in the heart of Huntington Village (a really cute town on the north shore of Long Island – tons of boutiques, restaurants, hair salons, etc). We opened in 2008 under the name Zachary’s Fine Jewelry. The spot was perfect – it had a space upstairs so we could put desks, machines & a small workshop, & the downstairs was for the retail store.

Then the stock market crashed (that timing was a biiiitch). No one was in the market to buy jewelry, let alone high end jewelry. We also had a hard time adjusting to retail life. None of us were experienced in the retail world and we could barely afford to pay ourselves let alone hire anyone else. We started to slowly venture into Sterling Silver since gold prices were sky-rocketing. I started Humble & Spark for a few reasons. I was unhappy at work. I felt like my voice wasn’t being heard (working with family is tough) and a part of me wasn’t being fulfilled. I always wanted to open an Etsy shop to help turn inventory, but I was in this 5 year uninspired funk. I was also dating an asshole at the time and my self-esteem was non-existent. I was waitressing part time at the Cheesecake Factory and working part time with my family. One day, I literally just got up & left my asshole partner, and moved out. Then the following month I quit The Cheesecake Factory (I was there part time for 7 years!) and in May of 2016: I started Humble & Spark! My first idea was to donate a percentage of sales to charity...but I wanted to make an impact on the customers buying the pieces. Put a smile on THEIR day. I've always LOVED gift-giving since I was younger -- and I wanted to incorporate that in my package. I found a manufacturer who could make pieces for me to giveaway that wouldn't break my bank and I was sold. I love the feedback I get...honest to GOD it makes my day when someone says they paid it forward to a friend or stranger.

Fast forward 3 years later, and here I am!

What's your favorite thing about what you do?: I love how every day is different. I’m NOT a person who can sit still or be bored at work. Since we do the manufacturing, retail and online store under one roof, there are days it can get HECTIC. I love a good controlled chaos kinda day. I also never thought that jewelry could ever give me any satisfaction of doing GOOD in the world. Recently, a customer had her entire home robbed – jewelry from her late husband, sentimental pieces that were passed down through her family – all GONE - it was awful. We worked with her to recreate those pieces that she wasn’t going to get back. Another example: just last week, someone online messaged me saying that elephants are a sign from her daughter who passed, and my free gift in her order was an elephant necklace. (It also just so happened to be my last one!) The connections I’ve made makes this job worth it. No, I’m not saving any lives, but this job fulfills me in ways I never thought it would.

As a modern working woman, what's your biggest struggle right now?: BALANCING EVERYTHING. As a woman, we “need” to have our nails prim & proper, (my toes can currently hurt someone) shave every day (I’m not shaving ‘til April, sorry folks) color your hair (anyone else going gray?) work out (haven’t done that in 3 years, oops) keep up with laundry, cook a healthy meal, be a good partner to your significant other, make sure you spending enough time with friends / family, and work full time. I’m lucky enough that I work with family, so I can run out and get a quick manicure or run to the grocery store mid-day to grab some protein for dinner. But juggling all the things we “have to do” along with trying to run a company is difficult. And I don’t even have kids yet!
I LITERALLY have no clue how women can balance all that shit, work AND be a mom. Whoever is reading this and has children, YOU are the real MVP.

What ways do you find to create work/life balance?: As per the last question, clearly I’m struggling with this haha. It is a struggle for me to NOT constantly be thinking about work. I think the #1 thing is to MAKE PLANS. Talk to other people, ask questions & listen. I feel like whenever I have a girls night with my friends we open a bottle of wine (or 6) and just talk about life and work rarely comes up. December is a crazy month for us – I’m working 7 days a week & it gets mentally & physically exhausting. Jess (my fiancé) & I decided we were going to have a holiday party smack in the middle of December to just let loose for a day. It’s good to have something on the calendar to look forward to especially during those moments you feel like you can’t balance anything. It might add a bit more strain on us, but it will get my mind thinking about what cheese I should buy for our charcuterie board rather than freaking out about a deadline.
ALSO, Sometimes after a long day, I go to a local nail salon and get a quick 10 or 15 minute massage. I easily spend $20 without a blink of an eye on a new shirt, something for the home, food, so why not spend that $20 to treat yourself. I find it really helpful to close my eyes, be off my phone & let my mind rest.

What ways to foster excellence in your life/self/work?: Self care is numbero uno. You need to love, nurture & believe in yourself and you will foster excellence in what you do. I also think keeping HEALTHY people around you for support is really important.. You are a product of your environment / who you are around. Make sure you surround yourself with honest, loyal & optimistic people. That also includes your instagram feed. You can easily hide people who don't serve a positive purpose.

What would be your #1 piece of advice for dating/relationships?: I hate to sound cliché here, but I think communication is KEY. Be open, self-aware, and LISTEN to your partner. It’s not easy being in a relationship – it takes work and effort and sometimes you see a shitty side of yourself and that could be hard to face. I had a mysterious illness & was undiagnosed for years and I had a COMPLETE mental breakdown – our relationship struggled, and we saw some ugly sides of ourselves we never really knew existed. We dove DEEP, REAL deep. We talked about what we both NEEDED to make it work, and then we ACTED on it. Actions are louder than words. And we came out on the other side. I’m also all about NOT being passive aggressive. Don’t just say ‘its fine’. If its not fine, then speak up.

Okay just for kicks: if you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?: The fact that this is one of the hardest questions to answer, just shows how much I truly love food.
My mom makes Kofte (its like a Mediterranean meatball / hamburger) but its so much more than that. She buys the good chop meat (like from the butcher – she’s bougey AF) And then mixes spices that she gets yearly from turkey -- cooked on the grill (never baked, ew) It’s so delicious. I would pair that with her white rice pilaf (a classic), her burek (a puff pastry bought from turkey) stuffed with a cheese filling and fried, grilled tomatoes, and a simple fresh salad. (You said MEAL, not food).

What is your favorite place you've traveled? Or are you a homebody? (No wrong answers here): I would have to choose South Africa. We have friends that live in New York but their families are from South Africa so we got to have a really personal experience. There is nothing like seeing a country from the eyes of the people who live there. Our first stop was Johannesburg and we stayed at our friend Victoria’s family home – who had the FUNNIEST, most generous parents. We had Easter dinner together, saw the slums of Soweto, even flew her fathers’ plane (never have I ever been so scared in my entire life.) We then flew to the eastern part of SA, to go on safari, which was such an unreal experience. Seeing a lion 4 feet away from you with no barrier, giant elephants stomping past you, rhinos taking their morning poo – It was hair -raising, heart-stopping but also breath takingly beautiful to see those majestic animals, just BEING. Also, random side note, I felt less guilty about eating meat after going on safari. When you are watching animals eat each other, it sort of makes ya think… this is the circle of life ya know? Sorry vegans. We finished our trip going to Cape Town. Just freakin’ google-image that place. It was like a gorgeous European city built in the mountains all surrounded by ocean. Our other friend, Naimah is Cape Malay, and that is where her family is from, so we got to see a whole other side of SA culture. A memory I’ll never forget was going to her family’s house for dinner. Of course a simple family dinner consisted of 30 people, TRAYS & TRAYS of insanely delicious food (Crawfish curry is a second runner up of what my last meal would be), playing games with her cousins, and last but not least trying to nonchalantly set Naimah up with a local Cape Malay guy, which only family can get away with. Overall it was an incredible trip.
Yes, my credit card has seen better days, but it was all worth it.

Ever met anyone famous?: NO! You would think living in NY, you would just run into Kelly Ripa at a coffee shop. My dad apparently said he passed Jennifer Lawrence in SoHo a few weeks ago but I don’t really believe him. It was probably just an influencer who looked like her. Last year, I was in the same room with Sarah Jessica Parker and I was SO awkward. I just stared at her – does that count?
Okay wait, I kind of have 1 more. But I don’t think this counts as someone “famous” just someone who’s ex husband is super rich LOL. I was talking to this really sweet woman in the store – she was recommended to us by another customer – and we just got to talking about her ex- husband, and new boyfriend and how much she likes him, and was going to send him in to buy her something for her birthday. Fast forward a few weeks, and I’m talking to the customers who recommend her –“ I was like oh thank you so much, word of mouth really helps our business, blah blah blah”…then they told me who she was : her ex-husband is the CEO of Starbucks! Howard Shultz! Again, no one famous. But whatever. The fact that I know someone who’s ex-husband has a net worth of 4.1 billion dollars made me feel special for like 3 seconds.

If you needed no money, and weren't allowed to work for the rest of your life, what would you do with your time?: This is a tough question. I LOVE to cook, and I would need some sort of creative outlet, so I feel like I would spend a lot of time in the kitchen concocting recipes. I would also want to take lessons to learn new crafts...pottery, music lessons, etc. I would love to travel to every continent! Wow, not working sounds a lot nicer than I thought....any one want to sponsor me?

If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be?: I had SO much self-doubt when I was younger. I was too scared to do anything because I would fail. For example: I wanted to start Humble & Spark YEARS ago but I never thought I would be good enough. I wanted to wait until I had the PERFECT inventory, the best product photos, the greatest Instagram captions. I wanted to wait until all my stars aligned -- but that was unrealistic… So one day, I was like FUCK it, I’ve been thinking about this for years, and I’m SO damn unhappy, just START and stop waiting for the right moment. All I could think about was how embarrassing it would be if I did all that work and made no sales. I definitely regret not starting sooner, so my advice would be, STOP GVING A F about what other people think. If you put love and passion into what you do, you will be successful.

Okay anything else you wanna add? Stories or advice?: There is this quote from a book I wrote down a while back: "This one is crucial - paying vigilant attention to one own's death is perhaps the only thing capable of helping us keep all our other values in proper perspective"
As morbid as this thought is…ya gotta just remember, that we only have 1 shot at life. It’s going to FLY by, so quit the job that makes you miserable, talk to that cute guy in the coffee shop, buy that amazing one of a kind piece of jewelry you saw on etsy.com/shop/humbleandspark (yes, shameless plug)
Let go of fear, and just live.

DO YOU SEE WHY I LOVE LAURA? Yeah, she & Jess are the best. Give her a follow and get yourself some of their jewelry. I wear mine allllll the time.

Jessie Shaw 8/23/19 Jessie Shaw 8/23/19

What's Going On With The Enneagram?

Okay Okay.

So you probably keep hearing about this “Enneagram” thing, or maybe you’ve even taken the test but like...what is it???

I’ve gotcha.

I get asked about the Enneagram all. the. time. And while I’m no expert, I definitely have done my research and am more than happy to share what I know! Ya ready?! Mk let’s go:

Okay Okay.

So you probably keep hearing about this “Enneagram” thing, or maybe you’ve even taken the test but like...what is it???

I’ve gotcha.

I get asked about the Enneagram all. the. time. And while I’m no expert, I definitely have done my research and am more than happy to share what I know! Ya ready?! Mk let’s go:

So, let me start by saying if you feel a little lost in a sea of random numbers...you’re not alone. The Enneagram DOES have a lot of information and researched involved, so you’re not wrong to be like...wtf is this?

In a nutshell, The Enneagram is a personality test. But unlike Myers Briggs, DISC or the like - the Enneagram is all about uncovering your motivations behind your behaviors, not analyzing the behaviors themselves.

Make sense?

So, like, people with the same “number” (or Type) can look like very different people on the outside, but they share a Type because of what motivates them. In this way it’s very inclusive. It speaks to all different personalities and allows opportunities to grow (wow I feel like I’m writing on a corporate website with that sentence haha) BUT YOU FEEL ME RIGHT?? It’s a complex little bugger but it offers a lot of insights & practical tools.

I’ll be the first to admit I hate personality tests. I never identified with them, and felt like overall they weren’t offering that much. No thank you.

Que the Enneagram.

Where other mechanisms just tell you what you are, this tells you why you feel the way you feel. Which is somehow way more enlightening and helpful. I think this is WHY it’s so wildly popular right now. People be feelin’ SEEN.

I mean, ultimately it’s just a tool for understanding yourself & others more, and while some people really make it their bible, I think it’s best applied as just a lens to get to know yourself more! Always a good thing.

Feel pretty good about it so far? Yeah? Okay. Let’s look closer. WTF do all these numbers and random “w”’s mean??

Here’s what you need to know:

The Enneagram is organized into 9 different numbers or “Types”.
Each number has a different core fear vs. desire that makes them tick.
Once you identify number (which can take a while, do the work and research!), you can also identify with one or both of the numbers on either side of your dominant number for your “wing”. For example, you could be a 2. And then your wing would be either a 1 or 3. Making you either a 2w1 or a 2w3. (Starting to make sense?)

Okay if you’re feeling pretty good about all of this, I’m gonna add onto that. Each type also has arrows. The arrows indicate what that number does in stress, vs. in health. So like, a Type 1 goes towards a Type 4 in stress, and a Type 7 in health.

Look at the diagram again, it makes more sense that way:

Mk so those are the basics! Let’s get into the nitty gritty. I’ll list a synopsis of the different types below to give you a foundation. And I’m going to steer away from stereotypes you’ll find on the Insta memes. Because while those are fun, (I follow a bunch of those accounts too), they often are pretty narrow in their depiction of each type which isn’t very helpful when you’re trying to figure out your type. So read over below, and then hop over to The Enneagram Institute, and read over the types you think you might be in depth. And honestly, pay the $12 for the little test on there, it’s worth it. The free ones I took were trash.
K, now that’s outta the way let’s go:

Type One: (“Reformer”)

This type’s basic desire is to be good/have integrity. The basic fear is to be corrupt. Ones tend to have a strong inner critic, which often guides them. They are often principled, & organized. In stress, they often withdraw. While in health, they tend to be playful. Read the official shiz on 1s HERE.

Type Two: (“Helper”)

This type’s basic desire is to be loved. The basic fear is being unwanted. Twos are often generous & kind, and can err on the side of ignoring themselves to help others. In stress they can lash out. While in health they get better at self-care, & are emotionally aware. More HERE.

Type Three: (“Achiever”)

This type’s basic desire is to be valuable. The basic fear is being worthless. Threes are super driven, able to adapt to social environments, and work their asses off. In stress they can become apathetic. In health they become committed to others alongside themselves. All the 3 things HERE.

Type Four: (“Individualist”)

This type’s basic desire is to have a unique identity. The basic fear is having no significance. Fours are usually seen as artists and pioneers, they tend to relish in their emotions. In stress they can become co-dependent. In health they become more objective. More HERE.

Type Five: (“Investigator”)

This type’s basic desire is to be capable. And the basic fear is being useless. Fives are known to be researchers. They typically know so much random shit, and often have a very limited reserve of energy. Once they’re spent, they withdraw. In stress they get scattered. In health they get more decisive. More HERE.

Type Six: (“Loyalist”)

This type’s basic desire is for security. And the basic fear is being without support. Sixes are good people to have on your team because they are able to think through many angles of a situation & offer advice. In stress they can get hyper-competitive. While in health they become adaptable & relaxed. Read the full description HERE.

Type 7: (“Enthusiast”)

This type’s basic desire is to enjoy. And the basic fear is to be in pain. Sevens are known for being wild, life of the party, always bursting with ideas and plans. These are the friends you wanna take to the bar haha. In stress they can become critical. But in health they engaged & interested in life. Read alllll about them HERE.

Type 8: (“Challenger” )

This type’s basic desire is to be in control of their own lives. The basic fear is being controlled. Eights are often seen as aggressive, but usually that’s just because they are direct & honest. They have big hearts, but are usually more known for taking charge. In stress they become withdrawn & hyper focused. While in health they become more empathic & others-focused. All the shiiz HERE.

Type 9: (“Peacemaker”)

This type’s basic desire is peace of mind. The basic fear is loss/separation. Nines are known for being easy-going, they tend to go with the group and mesh well with teams. That doesn’t mean they don’t have a backbone though! Although, they often struggle with a sense of identity. In stress they can be anxious. While in health they are focused on self-development. More 9-ness HERE.

OKAY SO THERE YOU GO! Now you are an Enneagram expert in the making lol.

But if you are still like: I RELATE WITH ALL OF THEM THANK YOU...just know that is normal. I recommend focusing on the basic fear/desire, as that is often the biggest indicator to your type. Read over several different ones, and see what you relate the most with. Ultimately only you can type you.
Okay so, have an idea what your type is?? Have questions? Comment below, I’d love to chat Enneagram craziness with you!
- Jessie
(yep, 8w9)